What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
10.06.2025 03:12
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Are you afraid to get married and why?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
What story do you have involving a public restroom?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
I'm pretty sure that my dog is transgender, how would I go about transitioning it?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
What do bad boys know that nice guys don't?
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Make Nazis afraid again!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.